How TechCrunch is like the Iliad

Luke Kanies
4 min readMay 21, 2020

The drive for social status created the worst, most important part of the Iliad. Now it’s filling up investment announcements.

Picture by Mikuláš Prokop

My fancy liberal arts school hazed me, like it does all students: I had to read The Iliad and The Odyssey.

We did more than read. We wrote. We talked. We dissected, for meaning and history. Me, and a dozen other kids I’d just met. It was school, after all.

The Odyssey is great. A proper story. Easy to read, and easy to see why it stuck around.

The Iliad is… not. It’s hard to read. Everyone in it is kind of a jerk. The biggest jerks are the biggest stars. The entire story rotates around a woman — Helen — without giving her agency. Maybe she didn’t want to go home?

For all its difficulty, it’s the more important book. Studying it taught me a lot.

Founders could learn from it even today.

In a hard book to read, one section is by far the hardest, weirdest, and seemingly most pointless. We called it the Parade of Ships, but Wikipedia uses the less glamorous “Catalogue of Ships.” It is exactly what it sounds like: A description of a lot of ships. More than a thousand. You know. Because Helen’s face was so beautiful it launched a thousand ships.

This gives us the millihelen: Enough beauty to launch one ship.

The Catalogue is scintillating:

First the Boeotians, led by Peneleos, Leitus, Arcesilaus, Prothoenor and Clonius; they came from Hyrie and stony Aulis, from Schoenus, Scolus and high-ridged Eteonus; from Thespeia and Graea, and spacious Mycalessus; from the villages of Harma, Eilesium and Erythrae; from Eleon, Hyle, Peteon, Ocalea and Medeon’s stronghold; from Copae, Eutresis, and dove-haunted Thisbe; from Coroneia and grassy Haliartus, Plataea and Glisas, and the great citadel of Thebes; from sacred Onchestus, Poseidon’s bright grove; from vine-rich Arne, Mideia, holy Nisa and coastal Anthedon. They captained fifty ships, each with a hundred and twenty young men.

That’s just the first paragraph! Every time I read this I delight in its nothingness. Now that I don’t have an essay due.

--

--

Luke Kanies

Founder, adviser, and strategist. Writing at lukekanies.com and second-publishing here.